1. The "5 Things..." list. You think you're going to get something quick and interesting like "5 Foods That Will Make You Invisible To Zombies" and it turns out you have to click through one boring page at a time and wait for stock-photos to load, and every other one is an ad for meeting singles "in your area!" Hey, my "area" is none of their business.
2. Celebrities in bikinis. It's estimated that by the year 2014, the only content left on the internet will be "celebs" "flaunting" their "hot" "bikini bods." This is why we must keep churning out more and more attractive celebrities on tv reality shows; to keep up with the demand.
3. "Shocking, "strange," "odd," "unbelievable" and "weird." Every headline must contain one of these, because who doesn't want to see something "shocking" or "unbelievable," right? I think the "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" people have been riding this train for about 40 years now. Know what? I don't not believe it's not butter.
4. Videos that start when you just wanted to read something and AAAAAARG! Stop it! No! I just wanted to read about the cat that burps the alphabet! How do I shut this off? Stooooop!
5. I am running out of things, and I promised you one of those "5 Things" lists. This is embarrassing. Jeez I figured I could at least come up with 4, then sort of phone-in the fifth. Oh well. This counts, right? Hey, would you like to meet singles in your area?